In earlier articles of this series, we gave you a basic introduction to wine and talked about what you need to know to serve alcohol when you’re hosting an event. But what about when you’re the guest? What if you’ve been invited to an event and are wondering whether you should bring a bottle of wine—and, if so, what wine should you choose? In this article, we’ll discuss etiquette and tips for choosing wine for a gift.
We reached out to Ryan and Kaleb Crafts for their expert view on this topic. The two brothers are not only avid givers and receivers of wine; they’re also co-owners of Bacchus Bar and Event Services as well as The Tasting Room, the newly renovated wine bar in downtown Salt Lake City.
Photo credits Logan Walker
To Wine or Not to Wine?
“First,” Ryan says, “you have to know when wine is an appropriate gift and when it’s not. Sometimes a bottle of good wine can be a gracious, cultured way of showing your appreciation to your host, but not always.”
When is it probably not a good idea to give wine for a gift?
If the host doesn’t drink. Here in Utah, a significant percentage of the population is opposed to alcohol and might not want it in their home. Whatever your host’s views are, it’s a basic sign of politeness to respect them.
If the invitation specifies not to bring gifts. Some hosts prefer to handle the menu and drinks themselves. Respecting your host’s wishes is a better “gift” than a bottle they asked you not to bring.
If you’re attending a wedding or formal event. In these cases, the hosts likely have drinks already planned.
On the other hand, there are occasions when a bottle of wine can make a fantastic gift, such as…
When you know the host enjoys wine. If you are well-acquainted and happen to know that they’re a wine lover, they’ll likely appreciate the gesture.
At a casual dinner party or gathering. By its nature, wine is a convivial gift that can be shared immediately, but be careful about giving wine in this context. Ryan and Kaleb both warn that you should never create an expectation or pressure on the guest to open your wine immediately. It’s a gift; they should feel free to do anything they want with it.
At a birthday party, housewarming, or other celebratory (but not too formal) event. As long as you’re not interfering with your host’s plans, a bottle of wine can fit the festive mood.
When you’re visiting someone’s home for the first time. A nice bottle can serve as a thoughtful “thank you” gift. And, if the recipient chooses to break it open right away, wine can help create a warm and amiable vibe.
How to Choose Which Wine to Give
With countless styles and selections to choose from, finding the perfect wine for a gift can feel overwhelming. We asked Kaleb and Ryan to walk us through their thinking process when they want to give a bottle of wine. Here are their ideas.
Make It Personal
“When I’m invited to someone’s house and I’m bringing wine for the host, my first choice is always to bring something that I know they love,” Ryan explains. If you happen to know, for example, that your host is a fan of Spanish tempranillo or has a sweet tooth for a Moscato d’asti or a sauternes, then your task is simple!
Even if you don’t know a specific label that your host is partial to, you may get some direction from the type of wine enthusiast they are. For example, if your host enjoys collecting rare or top-shelf wines, then a well-aged Bordeaux or a quality Champagne will likely make a welcome gift. On the other hand, if they are an adventurous drinker who loves to sample something new, then a great gift might be something from off the beaten path such as…
an unusual grape variety like a French trousseau, a Greek xinomavro, or an Italian fiano.
an orange wine like Channing Daughters (US), Orgo Rkatsiteli (Georgia), or Movia Lunar (Slovenia).
a sparkling red such as an Italian lambrusco or an Australian sparkling shiraz.
What if I have no idea what my host likes?
“If I’m going to give a bottle of wine and I don’t know what the host likes (or I can’t find it out), I’ll generally choose something that I like,” Kaleb says.
Ryan agrees. “If I don’t know my host’s preferences, I can still make the gift personal by sharing a wine that I love. I know that when I’m hosting and someone brings me wine, I love it when they share one that’s meaningful to them—even better if it comes with a personal story or insight into why they love it! Not only does that let me get to know my guest a little better, but I might even get to taste a wine I’ve never tried.”
When you present a bottle of wine for a gift, an accompanying card or thank you note is a nice personal touch and an easy way to slip in a little info about why you love that label or style. Ryan recently gifted a Spanish vermouth that he discovered on his family’s trip to Barcelona. When he gives away bottles of 2003 Silver Oak, he tells the story of how he and Jen saved them for their 20th anniversary, but when the pandemic led to a much smaller anniversary party than they’d anticipated, they found themselves with extra bottles of this wine that meant so much to them.
“Wine actually tastes better when you know the story behind it,” Kaleb explains. “The same is true for food and other drinks too. We tend to enjoy it much more when we know something about what we’re consuming.”
You may have a personal go-to wine that you love, or you may have stumbled across a little treasure recently. If so, Kaleb suggests picking up an extra bottle or two, even if you don’t yet know who you’ll gift it to. Sure, you could just run to the liquor store and pick something off the shelf an hour on the way to the party, but that’s a missed opportunity. “The point is, it’s a chance to gift more than wine,” Kaleb explains. “Offering a little of myself is a way to make it personal.”
Should I try to pair the wine with the food?
The short answer is no.
“If I’m bringing wine for a gift to someone’s event, I’m almost never going to want to try to pair it with the food,” Ryan explains. “I don’t want to create any expectation that the host will open the bottle and serve it with the meal. Chances are, the host has already planned the food and drinks for their event. I don’t want to mess that up for them.”
On the other hand, it may be appropriate to bring a wine pairing if you’ve communicated that to the host beforehand. Kaleb says, “If I asked, ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ and they invited me to bring a dish, I might say, ‘Can I bring a wine to pair with that?’ As a guest, I want to be as helpful as I can, but most of all I want to respect the host’s wishes.”
What if I’m asked to bring a wine, but I have no idea what to choose?
“If your host wants you to bring wine and you know they’re planning to open it at the event, then you can use the occasion of the party as your guide,” Ryan explains. Depending on the type of event you’re attending, here are some generally appropriate wine choices.
Summer BBQ or picnic: something light like a rosé or a lambrusco is refreshing.
Casual dinner party: a pinot noir or a chenin blanc is versatile and food-friendly.
Anniversary, birthday, or other celebration: If there’s going to be toasting, you can’t go wrong with a quality Champagne or sparkling wine. Ryan likes to give Pol Roget since it’s one of the best value Champagnes on the market and one of his personal favorites.
Winter holiday gathering: a deep and spicy syrah/shiraz can feel perfect on a chilly day.
There are online resources that can give you ideas about wines to buy, but you have to be a bit skeptical. “Vivino is a very popular site with a lot of wine reviews, but some of those reviews are highly personal and unreliable,” Kaleb says. “Even the scores given by professional wine critics reflect their personal tastes and may vary widely. The most reliable judge of wine is always going to be your own palate, or the palate of the host you’re giving it too.”
If you’re going to rely on online reviews, Ryan recommends Wine Folly, a site that is “simple enough to be accessible for most drinkers but doesn’t oversimplify their reviews to the point of not being useful.”
Of course, the best way to get advice is to go to the pros. “If you’re planning to give wine for a gift and you’re looking for specific recommendations, we’re more than happy to talk with you,” Ryan adds. “Drop by The Tasting Room anytime and let’s chat! Tell us what your criteria are, and I’m sure we can guide you to something exciting.”